9:02 PM

Perspective

I'm no longer in high school and we are all near (or have passed) the age of 30 (and adulthood). It does not offend me to be "unfriended" on Facebook. In fact, I didn't even notice until it was pointed out to me. I'll admit, I had to figure out how to search to confirm that it was true. That said, I think that I'll survive and will likely prosper.

What is even more important is that once again I realized exactly how lucky I am. While at happy hour with friends and family, my darling husband stops by twice for a "drive-by kiss" as my sister-in-law termed it. While he was in the area for work and running errands, he stopped in to see me. I'm still amazed. We are out of the so-called Honeymoon period of marriage - if that ever really ends. In considering James, our life and the past few weeks, I realize how much he truly loves me and sees me for the person that I am (as opposed to the person that I want to be or think that I am).
Without fail, he has the confidence in me that I sometimes (perhaps, often) lack. Quite possibly, he knows my true limitations better than I do. He truly knows me... and still loves me. There as a time (maybe yesterday - well, more like 3 years ago) that I did not think that was possible. I've never thought that I was incapable of being loved; but, it does surprise me that I did meet my match. And, honestly, James is my match. My equal. And, in some ways, my conscience. Inexplicably, since we've been together I've lost some of my punch - or whatever it is called. I don't know if it is him or just life. I don't have that same bitchiness that I once had. I'm nicer and will put up with a bit more crap than before (oddly, I termed this bitchiness... hmm...)
Last weekend, I was sharing my fears with James. Yes, it was an end of the weekend, I don't want to return to real life and leave our mini-vacation cry-fest. I was nervous about work and also asked him, who I as fooling by signing up for an ironman. He looked at me with surprise and expressed so much confidence in my ability to finish and do well. But, he wants me to be done because there are other things that we are hoping for the in near future (or at least within 9-10 months following Floida). In my mind, I will only do one IM - mainly, to prove to myself that I can do it (and to get the tattoo) but, James already has planned for me to do another one. Specifically, in about 5 years, he plans to be standing at the finish line with our child to see me finish... This makes me smile. I truly think that he knows me and gets me... And loves me.

Ahh... I'm all smiles (and happy tears)....

And there are people who think that facebook friendship is important or relevant...