Slippery Slopes

I realized yesterday when I hopped on the scale that I had officially entered my own slippery slope. Whenever I get to a certain point, I kinda freak out and get scared that I'm becoming the fat middle schooler that I used to be. The heaviest that I've ever been was 174 (and that was at the beginning of 7th grade). As I get closer to that number, I really get scared and feel even more out of control. Oddly enough, I know that I'm doing this to myself and cannot figure out why. I told a friend the other night that I think that I should see a nutritionist; however, I don't know if that is really what I need - Maybe I just need a psychologist.

Why is it that I have such an emotional connection to food? My grew up with a family that used food as the center of every family gathering (celebration, bereavement, etc.). Notably, every conversation with my mother or grandmother involves a discussion of what I've eaten that day or what I plan to eat that evening. In comparison, with my husband's family, food is an after thought to any family gathering. Meaning, the event is the important aspect and, it can only be assumed that there will be some sort of food. Admitedly, I kinda like that. Its less pressure for me. (if that makes any sense).

Why have I been eating so many sweets and junk food? It doesn't make me feel better and only leaves me feeling bloated and dehydrated in the morning. And, whenever I turn off the alarm rather than going to the gym or running, it only compounds the issue.

I recently bet my husband that he couldn't go two weeks without fast food. He did it and, I'll admit, I was a bit surprised. I'm even more impressed that since the end of the two weeks, he hasn't reverted to his old drive-thru ways. If I'm not actually cooking a meal (which, sadly is most nights), he will go to Subway or ask me to go by Barnabys (or the like).

Now, I'm betting myself: two weeks no sugar/sweets. As I've been eating something sweet everyday for the past few weeks (a hershey kiss or two, a cookie, etc.), two weeks without sweets actually seems a bit daunting. How sad is that? But, I WILL complete my own personal challenge. I just need to decide my reward... I'm thinking money for the bike fund.