Confessional...

The Slim Down Challenge is here and I now have 12 or so ladies holding me accountable. Sending out your weight to the group is a bit frightening. That said, you'd think that I'd be able to get through a day without screwing up the plan. However, I get home tonight and the hubby is eating cheetos. What do I do, grab a few, then grab a few more - before I know it, I've grabbed something else and am eating it. For dinner, we'd ordered chinese - not too bad considering that I get the steamed chicken and broccoli - no sauce. But, all good intentions to not eat rice went out the window the moment the doorbell rang. Aargh! I need to be more disciplined. I cannot send out an email Friday morning saying that I've lost no weight this week. I feel like I have the self-discipline to do whatever it is that I want in life; however, when it comes to food, I become powerless. I know that I'm an emotional eater. I eat when I'm lonely, bored, sad and now, I eat to spend time with the hubby.

While talking with my sisters-in-law yesterday afternoon, we discussed body image and weight gain. I then realized exactly how far I've come since middle school and that I'm beginning to slip into some of those old habits again. I actually weigh LESS now than I did in the seventh grade. My twelve year old sister-in-law is afraid of gaining weight in middle school (as her older sisters did) and doesn't want to be the fat kid. I explained that I began seventh grade weighing 180 pounds. Needless to say, they were shocked.

After realizing that I've gained over 20 pounds since beginning law school, I realize that I really need to do something about it. During the 25k last year, I finally acknowledged how much harder it was to run with the extra weight; however, I failed to do anything about it. I need to figure out why it is that I turn to food. I must accept that the M&Ms will not make me feel better.